I am miserable today. My pill induced period is full of the normal menstrual cycle symptoms, the bloated, headachy, gross feeling, and overly emotional balls of fun. Seeing that it’s been 2 months since my last pill induced period I feel like Aunt Flo is trying to make up for missing time. Either way, that’s not the worst of it. I called the hospital at exactly 8 am this morning and yes they were ready to serve me (good to know they stick to their hours). The woman I spoke with was very nice but I know she has never had a hysteroscarypinggram, as she told me so herself. Here is an excerpt from our conversation:
Nice lady: “Okay so you have to schedule this between days 7-10 of your cycle…”
Me: “Yes, Monday would be day 9 is that possible?”
Nice Lady: “Monday…OH, not Monday, no, it will have to be Tuesday.”
My thoughts: GRRRRRRRRR. Monday is Labor Day so they don’t work either. I don’t know why I thought radiologists and outpatient hospital people worked on a holiday seeing they work in a place that is open 24/7, 365 days a year?! Now instead of being able to take advantage of being off from work on Monday I have to take time off Tuesday. Sucks because I am off Thursday-Monday too because we are going to NY for a family wedding. So I will be working one whole day next week and using vacation time to get a catheter stuck up my vajaja.
Me: “Tuesday, okay, well how long does the procedure take?”
My thoughts: Maybe I can schedule it for the afternoon so I don’t have to take a full day off.
Nice Lady: “It takes an hour. We only do the procedure at 8 am and you have to be here at 7:30.”
My thoughts: Nice lady is really starting to piss me off. I can’t pick the day OR the time. UGH.
Nice Lady: “Now it says here that this can be painful so to take Motrin the night before and the morning of. I think it hurts based on the notes but I don’t know, I ain’t ever had one.”
Me: “Okay.”
Nice Lady: “And there could be bleeding and cramping for a few days after..."
Me: “Okay”
My Thoughts: This is what I was dreading…wearing a pad and downing Motrin while having to do the YMCA at Cousin Matthew’s wedding.
Nice Lady: “And you can’t have any sex from now until the procedure.”
My thoughts: And I don’t really think I am going to want to have any after it either!
Nice Lady: “Oh but you can eat or drink whatever you want, there are no restrictions there.”
My thoughts: Whoopdidoo
So I requested the day off, my husband is going to take me, and now I have a week to think about what may or may not happen and how bad this could hurt. I know I sound bitter, cranky and like a big baby and that’s because I am all of those things. I don’t even want to be around myself so I can’t imagine having any company right about now.
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