Scary words with too many letters you can't pronounce

Okay so right now I am on Provera which is not such a scary word. You can spell it, say it and not have other people ask you if you have a lisp. Provera is what I am taking to jump start that little thing called a menstrual cycle so that once I do get it I can have, and here's the scary word with too many letters you can't pronounce...a hysterosalpingogram. Yup, that is a real word (one you don't want to hear), and you can Google it. What you will find is that it is a "X-ray test that examines the inside of uterus and fallopian tubes and the surrounding area". What it really is, is a word that when you try to speak it you sound like your mouth is numb and you are drunk as a skunk; and even more than that it's your tubes getting injected and shot up with dye at the hospital! I have not yet gotten to experience this joyous event, but I have a friend who did. She tried to soften the blow for me saying it 'wasn't that bad' but in some cases they do offer Valium. Oh and people have been known to scream because of the pain. UMMMMMMM, you mean I am awake for this??? Nurse, give me the whole tray of pills you have over there! So that's what I get to experience some time in the next 2-3 weeks. See I have to wait for the Provera to kick in which can take up to 1o days and then once my period starts I have to go for the hysterolosseygoosey between days 7-10 of my period. I tried to chart out when all of this will occur and came up with 2 scenarios, neither conducive to my life. The first opportunity for the hysterowubbiedubbbie would be just in time or right on the day of the engagement party for my mother which is being held at my house and thrown by me. The second scenario has me in NY for my husband's cousin's wedding. I am not about to entertain 30 people or do the Macarena with spotting and cramping (the little something you get to take with you from the hospital) so this may have to wait until October. As much as I don't want to have to do this, I would rather do it and get it over with.
I made the mistake of mentioning all of this to my friend Ruby (names changed to protect the fertile) who after 6 whole months of trying (said sarcastically) got knocked up and is currently preggers. Word to the wise, don't engage in conversation with your pregnant friend when you are going through hell to be in the state she is in. You will hate her, I promise. Just kidding, I love you Ruby if you ever read this and figure out it's you. But when Ruby said that her friend so-in-so had the same procedure and it was really fine and so-in-so got pregnant right after (and won Miss America to that same month, again sarcasm) and then brought the conversation to that fact that she was SO stressed about blah,blah, blah and desperately wanted a big fat drink...that's when I smiled. I proudly told her I would enjoy a wonderful glass of wine, two actually, just for her. She may have a bun in the oven but I have Chardonnay in my hand, and that's all us fertility challenged women have over you fertile little monsters.