No Shame

There should be no shame in having fertility challenges and yet somehow those of us who do seem to be a part of an underground society. Sometimes we are left to feel broken or less than than those that can easily get pregnant. I don't know if it that we do it to ourselves or because on the pressure put on us by society. Maybe it's a combination of both. Either way you don't really hear woman openly share about the trials and tribulations of getting pregnant, or better said, not getting pregnant. As girls we are raised to care for our baby dolls so that when we fall in love, get married, buy a house and get pregnant, we are ready to be instant moms. No one ever tells us that it may take months and/or years of difficult days, painful procedures, and mounds of disappoint. No one tells us that there may be miscarriages, days of endless crying, and fights with your husband because you can't verbalize what you are feeling deep inside. No one tells us and we don't ask. Instead as woman we pretend everything is okay, that we are exactly where we want to be, and nothing is problem. We smile broadly and never mention the "I "(infertility) word. Yet those that are blessed to be pregnant are free to complain about morning sickness, indigestion, swollen ankles, bad gas and the inability to shave their own legs. It's okay to hear all about what a woman's body goes through when she is with child, but yet for some reason it is not okay to know about the invasive procedures, negative pregnancy test results, and headaches you have from blaming yourself and your body for not working the way it should. I almost feel like if we did share the things that others maybe didn't want to hear, then the things we were ashamed and embarrassed about wouldn't seem so bad anymore. I think if we start to share in the experience, others will begin to share too and then I bet we find there are many more members of this underground club then ever imagined.