So as if the week couldn't get any worse, our house was burglarized yesterday. All of my best and favorite jewelry was stolen, along with some stupid CDs. I feel violated, sad, scared and angry. I am officially PISSED OFF! I mean I am really, truly trying this whole enlightenment thing. I am trying to breath more, judge less, and not take things so hard, but come on. Someone is testing me BIG time. I forgot to mention that I thought my cat was dying this week too, but that God Frankie just had a crazy mouth infection. I am beyond the stage where wine makes it better. I am at the point where I just want to live in an igloo with my Uggs. But in the meantime I am busy filling out police reports and reading up on laparoscopys. Good times.
I won't bore you with the details of all my jewelry pieces now gone, but I will share with you some highlights from my procedures in 2 weeks. I will be quoting my favorite statements from my research. Mind you, this is supposed to be 'nothing to worry about.'
Laparoscopy is a surgery that uses a thin, lighted tube put through a cut in the belly...used to find abnormal growths (such as tumors) in the belly or pelvis...check for damage to internal organs, such as spleen...conditions including cysts, adhesions, fibroids, and infections...fix a hiatal hernia...partial removal of the colon. You may be asked to use an enema several hours before the day of the surgery.
D+C involves expanding or enlarging the entrance of a woman's uterus so that a thin, SHARP instrument can scrap or suction away the lining of the uterus and take tissue samples. Often used for Fibroids and polyps, Endometrial cancer, or incomplete miscarriage.
Now, you tell me, does anything I listed sound like something you wouldn't worry about? I got emotional talking through all of our challenges and my doctor was like "DON'T overreact." I felt like saying "You DON'T freakin overreact to my overreacting and shut your mouth person with a penis! I don't see you getting a sharp instrument up your manhood. You are just sticking one up my womanhood, so ZIP IT!" But instead I dried my tears and followed doctor's orders. I am sure he is right, this won't be so bad, and he won't find anything scary or major, he will just clean me out and get me ready to receive Mike's swimmers when they grow up!
I am drinking tea right now. It's supposed to calm you. It's part of my enlightenment routine. It's not really working. I am going to need something stronger to go back to my police report, maybe I will put on my Uggs and drink my tea.
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