Desperado

Last night I had restless dreams about taking a pregnancy test so this morning at 5:30 am I got up and I took one, I took a pregnancy test...
Let's rewind for a moment. A few days ago I realized my period would be due soon, and don't forget about my pretend pregnancy thoughts. I even was convinced I gave 'my baby' Fetal Alcohol Syndrome after one too many glasses of champagne Saturday night. So I peaked under the bathroom sink and pulled out my handy dandy First Response box opened with 2 tests (it was a 3 pack) inside. When you are trying to get pregnant those little suckers become as vital as water. Anyway I read the instructions to determine what day I could take the test early and lo and behold...the instructions used an example..."For example, if you are due on the 21st you can take the test on the 17th." Well no shit, I am due on the 21st and the 17th is just a couple of days away! I took that as a sign I should take the test early and maybe I was indeed pregnant.
So today is the 17th and I took the test early. I am indeed not pregnant. Sucks. But the box did say that if the test is negative try again 7 days after your due date if you still have not gotten a period. I know you will be shocked to hear that I will be doing exactly just that, hopeful that my "you have a baby inside you!" hormone level was just to low to read this time. My question is though, when does all of this stop looking hopeful and start looking desperate? Do I already appear desperate and I am too delusional to see it? I mean I have a freakin song picked out for the slide show of picture I want to put together after my baby is born; I can see pictures of Mike, me and our precious baby scrolling through with a powerful song to guide. When does that stop being sweet and start being pathetic? I feel like maybe I am pathetic and desperate, but what else do I have to go on? I have to stay in this mindset that it can...and it will happen. I can't even imagine the alternative.