Baby Steps

When you become a new mom there are so many things you must learn...the art of changing a diaper, ways to survive the first few weeks of nursing, how to strap in a car seat, and how best to soothe a crying infant. You learn all these things while you survive on little to no sleep. To say the experience is life changing is an understatement. As your infant grows into a toddler you learn new things along the way, like how grateful you are for Barney and Elmo, and that you always must have Goldfish on hand, but you also really learn about yourself. You can't help but reflect on your own life, your childhood memories, your high school mishaps, and your adult choices good and bad. You so badly want to protect your child from the mistakes you made which causes you to reexamine the steps you have chosen on your journey. You realize that you have been taking baby steps and up until having your own baby, you really had no idea the enormity of your life and life choices. I have found myself reflecting on old boyfriends, late nights out, early morning prayers, split second decisions, body imagine issues, money spent unwisely, and friends who have been there along the way. I am using this blog as a confessional of sorts, to revisit old decisions, talk about current day experiences, and try to make sense of it all. I am doing all of this, baring the good, bad and definitely ugly because I have come to realize that my purpose as a parent is to be a guide and honest light to my child. I can't be those things unless I confront all aspects of my life. So here we go...