Not So Great Expectations

I heard something interesting on my way to work this morning. I was listening to Joyce Meyer and she was preaching on anger. She said that often we get mad at others because they aren’t doing what we want them to do and their words or actions could negatively impact our reputation. I couldn’t help but think about when my husband, Mike and I get frustrated with our daughter, Audrey when we are out in public and she is not behaving according to our standards. She may be dropping Cheerios on the floor, insisting on going “OUTSIDE!”, or crying because she doesn’t want to be carried. We get mad because our expectations are not being met. We EXPECT Audrey to act a certain way so that everyone can think she is a good girl and that we are good parents. If I am honest, if most parents are honest, we don’t want to be embarrassed; we want to be praised and our child showered with, “Look how precious she is”.

 Of course we want to raise Audrey to be well mannered so that she can agreeably function in society and know right from wrong, but we also want badges of honor on how well behaved our child is from our friends, family, and perfect strangers. This is not something parents normally admit or even take a minute to think about, but it was the first thing brought to my mind when I heard Joyce’s message this morning. We need to keep our expectations in check whether it is related to our children, our spouses, friends, and neighbors, even ourselves.  I think it important to know your beliefs and teach them to your children. You believe “please” and ‘thank you” should always be said and encourage your children to repeat those words. If your three year old son doesn’t say thank you after the Publix cashier gives him a balloon, you don’t have to turn read from frustration, apologize profusely and justify with “Nicky usually ALWAYS says thank you”. We are not perfect and we shouldn’t expect our children to be either. If you believe you and your husband should kiss goodnight and end the evening with “I love you” and sometimes your husband falls asleep before that ritual occurs, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Rather than expecting what he should do or not do, appreciate all the times he does shower you with affection. If your neighbor cuts you off at the stop sign or your aunt calls a day late to wish you a happy birthday, stop and check yourself before you get angry or judgmental.

It is okay to expect kindness, respect, and love from others, but our expectations should be in moderation…no one bats 100 out of 100. Give people a chance and more thank likely you will be a less angry person and you will be receiving more badges of honor then you know what do with.