When I was younger I felt guilty about everything. I felt guilty for the way other people felt even if it had nothing to do with me. If my mother didn’t call me back within an hour I was afraid I did something to upset her and would rack my brain to think of what I could have possibly done. I felt guilty if I ate something that I considered to be bad like frozen yogurt or a piece of pizza. I would make myself sick thinking about things I said or did years before, filled with guilt and shame over something small or something I could not change. I had a hard time saying no to people and would go places I didn’t want to go or do things I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone because if I did, you guessed it, I felt guilty.
I sometimes still feel guilty for things I shouldn’t, like if I have to miss a day of work because I am sick or if I feel I disappointed someone in my family or one of my friends. But over time, I have learned that guilt is nothing but a waste less emotion. It is a way to keep us feeling negative about ourselves, our lives, and it stops us from growing. As human beings we will always make mistakes and we will always fail to please someone. We aren’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be.
Cut yourself some slack and when you catch yourself starting to feel guilty because you decided it was more important to spend your Saturday morning in your pjs rather than in the grocery store, stomp out that guilt. Feed yourself kind thoughts (“I deserve this me time”, “I worked hard this week and I am enjoying this down time”) and then keep sitting on your couch watching Real Housewives of New Jersey.
