Girlfriends

You know what is even better than evolving and becoming a better person? Having people who have known you every step of your journey and are there to help you laugh about your mistakes and applaud your growth.

I just spent a picture perfect weekend in quaint Ocean Grove, New Jersey with three of my closest friends. I have known these girls since childhood and while distance and life has changed how often we see each other, our bond has not been erased.

We are all now 30-something women with husbands and kids, but for two days we were girls again. We stayed up late laughing on the porch until our stomachs hurt. We rubbed our toes in the sand on the beach. We ate ice cream in cones. We relished in the beautiful, crisp weather, skipping through town. We shopped for licorice and knick knacks. We talked about boys. We shared secrets.

As I was going through the moments we were sharing I felt overwhelmingly blessed. All our talks made me reflect on my life and the choices I have made, some good and some really bad. The beauty is, I have grown and improved and can look back on my life experiences with ease. There is no guilt and there is no shame, just memories. And these three amazing women are in those memories, some altogether, or just one of them apart of a moment in time. These women stood by me then and they stand by me now.

We talked about making the girls weekend an annual tradition, so that at least once a year we connect with our old friends and ourselves. I pray that we do in fact make it a tradition, but I am also realistic and know it’s a possibility we may never be able to re-create that magical weekend. Life is messy, time slips away, we get weighed down with responsibilities…so if any or all of those things prevent us from another weekend, I will close my eyes and go back to this moment in time and once again see my girlfriends.

Martini Maddness

I learned a very valuable lesson in moderation this past weekend. My husband and I went out with friends to celebrate a birthday. What started out as just dinner and a couple of drinks turned into way too many drinks. I have learned I should not drink lemon drop martinis; they are too strong and I end up having too many. It happened one other time in the recent past with these tasty but evil cocktails, where I overdrew on my alcohol limit.

I like wine because I have a couple glasses, I am happy, relaxed and all in all good. With lemon drops I drink one, I get tipsy immediately and then know no bounds. I was that loud, dance-y, obviously drunk women when we were out last Saturday. Sure, it was fun and some would say I was funny, but it didn’t sit well with me the next day. I didn’t like myself for taking it too far, saying and doing things I wouldn’t normally, and being a waste the next morning.

I want to enjoy not only my night out but the next day. I want to be proud of myself and my actions, I want to be considered fun but classy and together. I want to be an example for my daughter, an example of someone who can balance work, family and fun. I grew up watching my father have too many late nights and be in bed the whole next day. I don’t want that as a memory for my daughter and maybe that’s why I am really hard on myself about the other night. There isn’t anything wrong with blowing off some steam and getting a little cra-cra every once in a while. Its okay to be silly, even a little embarrassing, especially when you are around people who love and protect you. But for me what I have learned is that every once in a while doesn’t work for ME. I won’t judge those it does work for, but for me, the feelings of anxiety and dissatisfaction it brings me is not worth it.

 

So I will continue to enjoy my glasses of Chardonnay, and maybe once in a while a girly drink, but strong a@# martinis are NOT in my moderation zone.